10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie.

I’m sure that you all want everyone to think that you’re a blogging newbie! That’s what I want! Wouldn’t that be an awesome way to develop your brand?

For those of you that want to appear like you actually know a lot about putting together blogs and websites, sorry but you’ve found the wrong place! I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I think that looking like you started yesterday is one of the most important things you can do. I have compiled for you the greatest internet marketing list of all time:

10 Easy Ways To Make Yourself Look Like A Blogging Newbie

1. Don’t use title case. Using ‘Make money online like a champ’ for your title would make you look 100 times more like a newbie than ‘Make Money Online Like A Champ’ would. You may want to consider leaving all of the words of your title in lower case, for maximum affect: ‘make money online like a champ’.
2. Use the original URLs that look like this: http://courtneytuttle.com/?p=123. Bloggers that have more experience will use these: http://courtneytuttle.com/2007/02/27/not-using-permalinks-search-engine-suicide/. Make sure you don’t have URLs like that if you want to look like you started your blog last week.
3. Make 26 categories for your 26 posts. This is a very effective way to look like a blogging newbie so make sure you don’t forget about this one! Adding a new category for every post is a powerful, advanced newbie disclosure method.
4. Change your blog’s theme and layout every 13 hours, that way people will know with absolute certainty that you have no idea whatsoever what you want your blog to look like. Tweak your theme relentlessly so that your readers get a chance to see each ‘mess up’ you make in the process.
5. Admit openly in your writing that you have no idea what you want your blog to be about. Consult with your readers about what kind of things they would like to learn. Better yet, hold a poll to allow your 7 active readers to determine your blog’s main topic.
6. Spread yourself thin. Make sure to cover celebrity news, blogging, real estate, credit card debt, technology, programming, social media, home based business, fast cars, music, movies, books, computers, drug rehab, pet training, exercise, framing, construction, writing, photography, art, wealth, investment banking, and water balloon fighting. Definitely don’t become an expert at any one thing. That would make you look too well-informed and advanced.
7. Install your blog in a directory named ‘wordpress’. Using http://yourdomain.com/wordpress/ for the main address of your blog would look a lot more newbie than http://yourdomain.com/ would.
8. Use meaningless post titles. Titles like ‘Another meaningless Monday’ (You’ll notice that I’m ignoring title case for a double-newbie-effect.) and ‘Life sucks again’ are my personal favorites for looking newbieish. (Is newbieish even a word? Hmm.. Is newbie even a word?)
9. Post erratically. Write 7 posts your first day, and then don’t post for a month. Then come back and post 9 times in a day, and then don’t post for another week. Trust me, it works. Do this, and you will definitely look like a newbie - people will surely take note.
10. Beg every decent site you’ve ever heard of to link to you. Definitely don’t tell them about any posts you’ve written, just ask them to link to you without offering any reason at all why they should.